The journey begins.....

It’s funny how everything works. I have been feeling a bit lost lately, a wrong turn here, a misstep there, not trusting my heart. Where do I belong in this world? When you are constantly bombarded with one message over and over again, you start to wonder maybe that message is right...maybe I’m wrong, maybe my heart doesn't know. Then something wonderful happens, you catch a tiny glimpse, a twinkle on the horizon, you come up for air, gulp in sweet breathe, your eyes open and you can clearly see the path, your path. It will be rocky, it will be steep, treacherous at times but you are more than willing to make the climb.
Last night I was telling my hubby that I’m ecstatic I can believe in a God that isn’t a Christian one. I want to make this clear. I have no problem with Christians and their beliefs. I am joyful that they have found their path to God; it’s just not my path. It’s hard to explain, I wish that I could eloquently write how I feel, but atlas I’m stuck with me… I have been told for so long that God – the Christian God- (read this as the only true God) can only be known one way. That all other ways are wrong, deceiving, and even sinful. I was so confused inside – I felt something more than me, something that loved me, guided me, cherished me exactly how I am, but I also knew deep down in my being that it wasn’t the Christian view of God. So how can this be? Is it really something that is sinful, evil that I felt?
We went to a wonderful Holiday Party. There were people from all walks of life, different views, religion, culture, and ethnicity. My heart sighed. So many different people, yet here we are enjoy each other company, rejoicing in our differences, in fact our differences is what made the party so wonderful.
I had been reading about Hinduism for about 6 months or so. But as it happens so often in our lives, things became busy. I was helping with Boy Scouts, homeschooling my kids, running the kids around to different classes, sporting event, you name it. Hinduism got lost in the shuffle. Then this party reminded me that there is so much more out there then I can see and explore.
I have reopened the books. The journey begins……

A poem

I wrote this poem when I was about 16 years old. This time of year always gets me thinking about Religion.

How do we know where we shall go
From up above or down below

Who will show us the road to take?
Our inner self
Or people we face?

I for one will determine my fate
To Heaven's doors
Or to Hell's gate.

I attended a wonderful church for about a year and half. I really enjoyed the community I felt there. The lesson that applied to how to live a better life where great. But there was a huge problem I don't believe that the bible is the word of God. I think it has many truths, but in the end I think its stories, parables to teach. By the way I don’t think that is a bad thing. You can learn much from reading the bible regardless of your faith. I also can't believe that there is only one way to God/higher power. That really is the basic belief in Christianity that their way is the only true way. The world is a wonderfully diverse place with millions of different people, cultures, and ways of thinking. How can religion be one size fits all?
This all started when a friend (hopefully she still is) stated on facebooks that she believes in saying Merry Christmas. Really what does this mean? If she would have stated I wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas then that is one thing. I would have wished her a very Merry Christmas and that would have been that. But did she mean that by stating it that way? This is what she said.
"No it means that I am not afraid to say Merry Christmas - I wish Happy Holidays to those who don't celebrate but I won't be made to be politically correct by not saying Merry Christmas -"
"I say Merry Christmas to everyone unless I know they don't celebrate"

My question is how do you know what someone celebrates? I mean obviously you know what your friends and family celebrate but what about your neighbors or your bank teller? What does Happy Holiday have to do with being politically correct? I think it would just be polite to say Happy Holiday's. Since Christmas isn't the only holiday celebrated in December. And what is this garbage: This lady told me she was sad that I didn't know Christ and would pray for me. Really save your time and energy. Once again that is your faith not mine. Now if you want to pray for happiness, prosperity, joy for my family go for it.
You might be asking if I celebrate Christmas. I celebrate the company of family, friends, the giving of gifts, eat way to much, decorating the house, but no we don't celebrate Christ’s birthday. Do I believe in God? I believe in something more then us, what that is I don't know. Do I believe in the power of prayer? Yes, I think that where ever we put our energy things will manifest (really who doesn't need some extra good energy in their life). Is that the doing of a higher power, I have no idea. I believe in reincarnation, I believe in miracles, I believe in the union of two souls in marriage. I believe in the good of humanity, I believe in being a good person not so I can celebrate in Heaven or avoid Hell but because it’s what I know in my heart is the right thing to do. I believe that there are as many ways/names for God as there are leaves on the trees. I believe that not until love and tolerance is the reigning philosophy will we have peace on Earth.

Nov 14th

This week I lost 3.4 pounds, which I think is a good start. Of course I won't be really counting the weight loss until I get down past 220. I hate regaining weight. The second time around losing it isn't nearly as fun as the first. The whole time I'm just beating myself up for gaining it in the first place instead of being happy that it is coming back off.

It would have been more but I have no willpower over the weekend. Talon had his birthday so of course had to eat out when I went looking for his present with hubby. Then Friday night I had a gyro's, french fries, birthday cake and baklava. Didn't do much better on Saturday when we ate at Home Spun. I spun me some country fried steak, white gravy, mash potato's and fried apples. So I guess 3.4 pounds is kind of like a miracle :)

We are finally heading back to the gym. Did spin tonight and it kicked my booty as always. Garry's ankle still isn't doing so hot but he is determine to workout. They have added a new spin class on Thursday nights. Might have to hit that this week. I love how fast spin class goes. Might be the fact that I'm so dazed and oxygen deprived I have no idea whats going on...muhaha.

So I'm back to the basic. Counting calories, trying to eat every couple of hours, getting in more veggies and fruits, lean protein, laying off anything white or processed. Except my coffee. Gotta have creamer... I'm mean really if I get hit by a bus tomorrow I want to have some joy in my life :)

Crazy life

I have a crazy life... how doesn't. Just an easy excuse to bad eating and no excersize. If I'm waiting for the prefect time to lose weight then I will be fat forever! Which I am... So I need to work on creating an environment that might not be perfect but is doable. My weight was bouncing around in the 220's for a longtime I should have been happier because now I'm in the 240's. I can't even say i'm suprise. When I start avoiding the scale I start gaining weight. Which is really bad since now I really only have one pair of Jeans that fit and they are full of holes...lol. I'm calling in fat... sorry I have nothing to wear!

This Friday is grocery week. This week I'm going to but together a meal plan. I will most likely eat the same thing for breakfast, lunch, and snacks. Dinner will vary that seems to workout the best for me. I am going to eat at least one fruit or veggie at each time I eat and try to get in 6 meals a day. That works really well for me but its so hard to do. Actually I take it back I'm going to get start tomorrow. I have plenty of food in this house that I can eat. Lots of apples, some can fruit. Several packs of chicken. I can figure somethings out a made make a run for the few things I don't have. I can't keep putting this off.

I'm going on a cruise for my 20th anniversary November 2012. I guess I should say second honeymoon. Well in our case first honeymoon. I don't think the one night stay at hotel 8 constitutes a honeymoon :) Anyway.... How nice would be to actually want to be in the pictures. Maybe even wear a sexy dress and rumba with my hubby. So much fun. Something to aim for!

So it begins...........

again, again, again

Good news I have lost 44 pounds since January of 2010. Bad new I have been going up and down since September 2010. My weight goes up 227 then down to 221. Its crazy and frustrating and totally my fault...lol. Working out I like but I do need to step it up. I'm only doing 3 days a week which isn't enough I know. I need more Cardio. Right now I'm fighting with my back, but I'm determined to keep working out and modifying my workouts so I don't lose more ground. Since my legs are sore today I think what I did yesterday must of worked. Lots of reps, low weights, and throw in some Cardio. I know this summer I need to get in at least 5 workout a week. The biggest thing is that I hate making my boys go to daycare. Good news is that they seemed to have made some friends, so that helps. We go three times a week at night, but I think the off days I need to go also.

Watching Biggest Loser always inspires me. So I have taken a motivation tip from Jay writing my goal on my arm. Every time I reach for food, candy, treats or when I'm working out sweating and don't think I can do another rep its going to be right there staring me in the face.

I also need to write about my journey. It helps me stay focused, determined, and it reminds me of what I want.

Picking up speed

Started a new eating plan, it will be 2 weeks on this coming Monday. Finally got to weigh in today and I have lost 6.6 pounds!!! Can't tell you how happy I am. So far I have lost 47.6 pounds on my weight loss journey that start Feb 2009. I feel so much stronger and happier now. I still have a long ways to go before I hit my goal but I'm finally moving along.

Diet is key. I was lucky enough to be able to go to Better Day Nutrition. They are located right next to our gym. I thought I was eating the way that I should, but my weight wasn't moving. So Derek put me on a high protein, low carbs, low sodium diet. I can't tell you how much better I feel. I have so much energy and my moods are much better. Working out definitely has a place in a healthy life style but nutrition is key. Really how can you expect your body to perform if all you feed it is crap!

We have tweaked our workout and they are kick butt! The circuit training combined with running between is really burn a bunch of calories. The stair master is hard but I can burn 100 calories in 10 minutes. Gotta love that. I'm struggling some in my RPM class, I would like to burn more calories. But Michelle the instructor is awesome and has giving me some pointers. Can't wait to try them out on Monday.

This week BodyPlex is having a new class Shabam! Looking forward to trying it out, should be tons of fun. Need to get my 600 calorie burn. I might start adding in a Sunday run. That would put me at 5 days a week. Biggest thing is I don't want the kids to always have to hangout at the gym. At least when I run they can ride their bikes with me. Gets me thinner and them healthier that's always a good thing.

Going to San Fransisco at the end of the month. A little nervous about how my eating is going to be there. I know we will be walking a lot so that should help. Need to look to see if the hotel has a gym. I think I'll pack my workout clothes just in case. I'm going to try to stay on plan for the majority of time, but I'm sure there will be a meal or two that isn't. I need to think, lean protein, fruits and veggies. Going to stay away from bread and limit my desserts to just one. So it better be good!

Crazy week

What a crazy week. I was doing awesome on the challenge. Then PMS combined with cold weather hit me hard. Don't know if my body was planning on hibernating or what but I first lost 2 pounds, gained that back plus an extra 2. Finally got a workout in, ended the week where I started it at 227. Could be worse. I could have ended up gaining. Looking over my food journal. I had 5 day that were spot on, 1 day that was bad, and one day that was over the top bad and I didn't even track it. Soooo I guess I need to do better. I still think I need one cheat day. Maybe only one meal instead of the whole day...lol.

My hubby is out of town. I already miss him and the airplane hasn't even taking off yet. I'm hoping to stay super busy so the time goes by faster. Need to make sure that the house is stocked with good food so I don't eat to comfort myself. I think my goal should be to lose enough weight that he will notice a difference when he comes back. Yeah that will be a good motivator.

Deciding if I should hit the gym today. I might checkout what classes they have today. Thats always fun. Since I haven't been all week it will do us good to get out of the house. Going to do that now.

8-week Challenge

Starting the 8 week challenge with some friends. Very excited. My goal is to lose 20 pounds. So that 2.5 pounds a week. I'm pretty confident that if I stick to my eating plan and workout plan it should be in the bag. Actually I'm hoping to lose more then that, but I don't want to jinx myself :) The challenge is this. We have a 4 & 8 week goal. Then we break that down to weekly goals. If you hit it YEAH! If not you have to give 5 dollars to charity. If you hit your 4 week goal then we are going to celebrate with a pedicure. If you make your 8 week goal we will celebrate again with another pedicure. If you don't then you donate another 20 dollars to charity. At the end we are going to do a Charity Walk. Not sure which one yet. Should be fun. Plus the added bonus of friends motivating you and celebrating your successes.

I actually started last week and lost 5.6 pounds this week. I'm very happy about but it is stupid weight that I gained over the holidays. I still need to lose another 7 pounds before I'm back to my lowest weight. I getting back into the groove of eating healthier again. Thanksgiving through Christmas was rough. I was eating all kinds of crap, my body and mind really were taking hit. I can already feel the difference of having good food in my system and working out.

I should have good numbers next week. I only got in two workouts with this week weigh-in. Our new schedule is Monday/spin, Tuesday/off, Wed/front half weights, Thur/ Back half weights, Fri/off, Sat/Zumba and Sunday off. I think this makes a really good rounded program. The weight training is in circuits so I still get a good cardio workout. I really aim for at least 500 calories per workout.

April we are heading to Florida and the beach. I'm really looking forward to it. I want to be able to wear a bathing suit without being totally self conscious about it. I like the one I have now, but it would be nice to get a new smaller size one :) Maybe I should order it as a reminder of what I want to do!!

Feeling good

Finally had a chance to hit the gym today. Did a spin class. It was awesome burned 535 calories... go me! Between having my tooth pulled, Garry being sick then me and the boys being sick. It feels so nice just to feel good. You forget. Ok all i'm going to write because i'm super tired and want to go snuggle down in bed!

Beach

The word that installs fear into women...lol. I have three month until we are spending spring break in Naples, Fl. I'm so excited to hangout at the beach. At my current size i'm really still fine... well lying down with a beach blanket covering me! So with that being said. I have been off my weight loss program since the summer. Its time to recommit, hit the gym, eat health and be fit. I'm really excited about going snorkeling with the family. The though of a huge white moon beaming up at everyone is enough to get me off my butt! This is going to be a great year.

I just discovered a new magazine. Its call Clean Eating. It has faboulous low cal recipes. I'm excited to try some of them. Plus great tips on eating healthier with less process foods, closer to nature. I'm not a huge lets eat organic, but it has great tips on eating with the season. What veggies and fruits are in their prime now and recipes to use them to the fullest. I'm also going to get their fitness magizine called Oxygen. Love the name. Hope the magazine is as good.

So cheers to a new healthier, fitter 2011!