Where is the wagon??

OK, I have falling off the wagon so bad i don't even know where the damn thing is!  I was looking over my past entries and one thing is for sure this is for life.  There are no quick fixes and if I don't watch what I'm doing the weight will come back, and boy does that suck.  To be back here.  I have been beating myself up for weeks about it.  Every time I look in the mirror.  Lets just say I haven't been saying very loving things.

First issue this whole thyroid thing.  So easy to use it as an excuse for gaining weight, which it is and isn't.  Yes I did feel like crap, yes my energy was low, but I also ate like crap and didn't workout.  Hmmmm and I gain weight image that.

Gluten free diet.  I have been going back and forth about this.  The last couple of days I haven't cared what I ate and if it had gluten in it.  Well today I really feel crappy.  I feel swollen, have a killer headache and stomach cramps, we know what comes after that.  So I think it fair to say I should stay away from Gluten.  Its really not that difficult but somedays.......

Lets get the whining out of the way first.  My hands hurt, this time its my pinkies, don't know what this is from.  I had run out my thyroid meds for about two days and then they start hurting so I'm thinking something to do with that.  I'm hoping it will go away soon now that I have more meds.  Right foot - still have the planter fasiteis or whatever its calls.  Hurts in the morning and anytime I sit to long.  Left ankle - I think I must have pulled my Achilles tendinitis.  I have a huge knot on the back of my leg.  Mental state - Depressed and moody, not loving life at the moment, questioning everything I do.

This is what I know about myself, I procrastinate all the time.  The weird thing is it makes me crazy.  I worry about all kind of stuff and when I get off  my butt and do it I feel so much better  So why do I procrastinate.  Makes no sense, but when have I ever made sense...lol.

Now for the plan.  I love making the plan...lol  Doing the plan is not my strong point.  I like being the muse  follow through not so much.  So I need to step up, put on my big girl panties face the realities of the situation and change them.  I am in the drivers sit.  I can do anything or nothing the choice is mine.  No one is making me do this.  So - am I ready?  YES.

Ok I think the best thing for me is to basically eat the same thing during the day and vary dinner.  That has always worked the best in the past.  The problem is what to eat for lunch.  Since gluten free has made that a bit harder.  I think I will add in Oats.  People are on the fence about them being gluten free but you can buy ones that says they are.  I will add them and see how it works for me.  You can use oats for a lot of things instead of flour.

Off to Sparks to plan out some meals.  I will checking in with results from the journey.

Its so hard....

Did awesome last week and lost 4 pounds! The weekends are still very hard for me. We had a birthday dinner which include brownies and chocolate brownies...yummy. Plus had a bed picnic with the hubby. Need to make sure I only do that about once a month is that. Worked out 5 days last week. I'm hoping to get in at least 4 maybe 5 this week.
Really busy week have something going on almost everyday so it can be tricky. I feel really guilty taking the time to do it during the day, when we can't go at night. I know my kids are getting enough time with me so but its just one of those things to deal with. I have to remind myself that life is a balance it can't all be about me or about the kids. Trying to find that balance is hard, the squeaky wheel get the attention.
I'm going to do jam in about 30 minutes. Haven't done that class in a long time, should be really fun. Trying to get in 3 hardcore cardio a week along with two days of weights. Feeling pretty good. Not to sore but can feel my muscles working.