I'm tempted to just start a whole new blog. So hard to look back and see I weighed 219.8 and now I weight 255.6 after losing 3 pounds. Weightloss isn't for sissies. But as I said today is a brand new day to make smart choices and to look and feel great. I need to remember that I can be great at any size not to weight for the perfect size to say ahhh now i'm good. I'm good NOW! The choices I make today will make tomorrow even better. I'm going to live each day to the fullest. I can only live in this moment so I better damn well enjoy it. The past had its moment, the future will have its moments, I claim today as my moment!
I CLAIM TODAY AS MY MOMENT!!!
Happy eating
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Where is the wagon??
OK, I have falling off the wagon so bad i don't even know where the damn thing is! I was looking over my past entries and one thing is for sure this is for life. There are no quick fixes and if I don't watch what I'm doing the weight will come back, and boy does that suck. To be back here. I have been beating myself up for weeks about it. Every time I look in the mirror. Lets just say I haven't been saying very loving things.
First issue this whole thyroid thing. So easy to use it as an excuse for gaining weight, which it is and isn't. Yes I did feel like crap, yes my energy was low, but I also ate like crap and didn't workout. Hmmmm and I gain weight image that.
Gluten free diet. I have been going back and forth about this. The last couple of days I haven't cared what I ate and if it had gluten in it. Well today I really feel crappy. I feel swollen, have a killer headache and stomach cramps, we know what comes after that. So I think it fair to say I should stay away from Gluten. Its really not that difficult but somedays.......
Lets get the whining out of the way first. My hands hurt, this time its my pinkies, don't know what this is from. I had run out my thyroid meds for about two days and then they start hurting so I'm thinking something to do with that. I'm hoping it will go away soon now that I have more meds. Right foot - still have the planter fasiteis or whatever its calls. Hurts in the morning and anytime I sit to long. Left ankle - I think I must have pulled my Achilles tendinitis. I have a huge knot on the back of my leg. Mental state - Depressed and moody, not loving life at the moment, questioning everything I do.
This is what I know about myself, I procrastinate all the time. The weird thing is it makes me crazy. I worry about all kind of stuff and when I get off my butt and do it I feel so much better So why do I procrastinate. Makes no sense, but when have I ever made sense...lol.
Now for the plan. I love making the plan...lol Doing the plan is not my strong point. I like being the muse follow through not so much. So I need to step up, put on my big girl panties face the realities of the situation and change them. I am in the drivers sit. I can do anything or nothing the choice is mine. No one is making me do this. So - am I ready? YES.
Ok I think the best thing for me is to basically eat the same thing during the day and vary dinner. That has always worked the best in the past. The problem is what to eat for lunch. Since gluten free has made that a bit harder. I think I will add in Oats. People are on the fence about them being gluten free but you can buy ones that says they are. I will add them and see how it works for me. You can use oats for a lot of things instead of flour.
Off to Sparks to plan out some meals. I will checking in with results from the journey.
First issue this whole thyroid thing. So easy to use it as an excuse for gaining weight, which it is and isn't. Yes I did feel like crap, yes my energy was low, but I also ate like crap and didn't workout. Hmmmm and I gain weight image that.
Gluten free diet. I have been going back and forth about this. The last couple of days I haven't cared what I ate and if it had gluten in it. Well today I really feel crappy. I feel swollen, have a killer headache and stomach cramps, we know what comes after that. So I think it fair to say I should stay away from Gluten. Its really not that difficult but somedays.......
Lets get the whining out of the way first. My hands hurt, this time its my pinkies, don't know what this is from. I had run out my thyroid meds for about two days and then they start hurting so I'm thinking something to do with that. I'm hoping it will go away soon now that I have more meds. Right foot - still have the planter fasiteis or whatever its calls. Hurts in the morning and anytime I sit to long. Left ankle - I think I must have pulled my Achilles tendinitis. I have a huge knot on the back of my leg. Mental state - Depressed and moody, not loving life at the moment, questioning everything I do.
This is what I know about myself, I procrastinate all the time. The weird thing is it makes me crazy. I worry about all kind of stuff and when I get off my butt and do it I feel so much better So why do I procrastinate. Makes no sense, but when have I ever made sense...lol.
Now for the plan. I love making the plan...lol Doing the plan is not my strong point. I like being the muse follow through not so much. So I need to step up, put on my big girl panties face the realities of the situation and change them. I am in the drivers sit. I can do anything or nothing the choice is mine. No one is making me do this. So - am I ready? YES.
Ok I think the best thing for me is to basically eat the same thing during the day and vary dinner. That has always worked the best in the past. The problem is what to eat for lunch. Since gluten free has made that a bit harder. I think I will add in Oats. People are on the fence about them being gluten free but you can buy ones that says they are. I will add them and see how it works for me. You can use oats for a lot of things instead of flour.
Off to Sparks to plan out some meals. I will checking in with results from the journey.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Its so hard....
Did awesome last week and lost 4 pounds! The weekends are still very hard for me. We had a birthday dinner which include brownies and chocolate brownies...yummy. Plus had a bed picnic with the hubby. Need to make sure I only do that about once a month is that. Worked out 5 days last week. I'm hoping to get in at least 4 maybe 5 this week.
Really busy week have something going on almost everyday so it can be tricky. I feel really guilty taking the time to do it during the day, when we can't go at night. I know my kids are getting enough time with me so but its just one of those things to deal with. I have to remind myself that life is a balance it can't all be about me or about the kids. Trying to find that balance is hard, the squeaky wheel get the attention.
I'm going to do jam in about 30 minutes. Haven't done that class in a long time, should be really fun. Trying to get in 3 hardcore cardio a week along with two days of weights. Feeling pretty good. Not to sore but can feel my muscles working.
Really busy week have something going on almost everyday so it can be tricky. I feel really guilty taking the time to do it during the day, when we can't go at night. I know my kids are getting enough time with me so but its just one of those things to deal with. I have to remind myself that life is a balance it can't all be about me or about the kids. Trying to find that balance is hard, the squeaky wheel get the attention.
I'm going to do jam in about 30 minutes. Haven't done that class in a long time, should be really fun. Trying to get in 3 hardcore cardio a week along with two days of weights. Feeling pretty good. Not to sore but can feel my muscles working.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
The journey begins.....
It’s funny how everything works. I have been feeling a bit lost lately, a wrong turn here, a misstep there, not trusting my heart. Where do I belong in this world? When you are constantly bombarded with one message over and over again, you start to wonder maybe that message is right...maybe I’m wrong, maybe my heart doesn't know. Then something wonderful happens, you catch a tiny glimpse, a twinkle on the horizon, you come up for air, gulp in sweet breathe, your eyes open and you can clearly see the path, your path. It will be rocky, it will be steep, treacherous at times but you are more than willing to make the climb.
Last night I was telling my hubby that I’m ecstatic I can believe in a God that isn’t a Christian one. I want to make this clear. I have no problem with Christians and their beliefs. I am joyful that they have found their path to God; it’s just not my path. It’s hard to explain, I wish that I could eloquently write how I feel, but atlas I’m stuck with me… I have been told for so long that God – the Christian God- (read this as the only true God) can only be known one way. That all other ways are wrong, deceiving, and even sinful. I was so confused inside – I felt something more than me, something that loved me, guided me, cherished me exactly how I am, but I also knew deep down in my being that it wasn’t the Christian view of God. So how can this be? Is it really something that is sinful, evil that I felt?
We went to a wonderful Holiday Party. There were people from all walks of life, different views, religion, culture, and ethnicity. My heart sighed. So many different people, yet here we are enjoy each other company, rejoicing in our differences, in fact our differences is what made the party so wonderful.
I had been reading about Hinduism for about 6 months or so. But as it happens so often in our lives, things became busy. I was helping with Boy Scouts, homeschooling my kids, running the kids around to different classes, sporting event, you name it. Hinduism got lost in the shuffle. Then this party reminded me that there is so much more out there then I can see and explore.
I have reopened the books. The journey begins……
Last night I was telling my hubby that I’m ecstatic I can believe in a God that isn’t a Christian one. I want to make this clear. I have no problem with Christians and their beliefs. I am joyful that they have found their path to God; it’s just not my path. It’s hard to explain, I wish that I could eloquently write how I feel, but atlas I’m stuck with me… I have been told for so long that God – the Christian God- (read this as the only true God) can only be known one way. That all other ways are wrong, deceiving, and even sinful. I was so confused inside – I felt something more than me, something that loved me, guided me, cherished me exactly how I am, but I also knew deep down in my being that it wasn’t the Christian view of God. So how can this be? Is it really something that is sinful, evil that I felt?
We went to a wonderful Holiday Party. There were people from all walks of life, different views, religion, culture, and ethnicity. My heart sighed. So many different people, yet here we are enjoy each other company, rejoicing in our differences, in fact our differences is what made the party so wonderful.
I had been reading about Hinduism for about 6 months or so. But as it happens so often in our lives, things became busy. I was helping with Boy Scouts, homeschooling my kids, running the kids around to different classes, sporting event, you name it. Hinduism got lost in the shuffle. Then this party reminded me that there is so much more out there then I can see and explore.
I have reopened the books. The journey begins……
Monday, December 19, 2011
A poem
I wrote this poem when I was about 16 years old. This time of year always gets me thinking about Religion.
How do we know where we shall go
From up above or down below
Who will show us the road to take?
Our inner self
Or people we face?
I for one will determine my fate
To Heaven's doors
Or to Hell's gate.
I attended a wonderful church for about a year and half. I really enjoyed the community I felt there. The lesson that applied to how to live a better life where great. But there was a huge problem I don't believe that the bible is the word of God. I think it has many truths, but in the end I think its stories, parables to teach. By the way I don’t think that is a bad thing. You can learn much from reading the bible regardless of your faith. I also can't believe that there is only one way to God/higher power. That really is the basic belief in Christianity that their way is the only true way. The world is a wonderfully diverse place with millions of different people, cultures, and ways of thinking. How can religion be one size fits all?
This all started when a friend (hopefully she still is) stated on facebooks that she believes in saying Merry Christmas. Really what does this mean? If she would have stated I wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas then that is one thing. I would have wished her a very Merry Christmas and that would have been that. But did she mean that by stating it that way? This is what she said.
"No it means that I am not afraid to say Merry Christmas - I wish Happy Holidays to those who don't celebrate but I won't be made to be politically correct by not saying Merry Christmas -"
"I say Merry Christmas to everyone unless I know they don't celebrate"
My question is how do you know what someone celebrates? I mean obviously you know what your friends and family celebrate but what about your neighbors or your bank teller? What does Happy Holiday have to do with being politically correct? I think it would just be polite to say Happy Holiday's. Since Christmas isn't the only holiday celebrated in December. And what is this garbage: This lady told me she was sad that I didn't know Christ and would pray for me. Really save your time and energy. Once again that is your faith not mine. Now if you want to pray for happiness, prosperity, joy for my family go for it.
You might be asking if I celebrate Christmas. I celebrate the company of family, friends, the giving of gifts, eat way to much, decorating the house, but no we don't celebrate Christ’s birthday. Do I believe in God? I believe in something more then us, what that is I don't know. Do I believe in the power of prayer? Yes, I think that where ever we put our energy things will manifest (really who doesn't need some extra good energy in their life). Is that the doing of a higher power, I have no idea. I believe in reincarnation, I believe in miracles, I believe in the union of two souls in marriage. I believe in the good of humanity, I believe in being a good person not so I can celebrate in Heaven or avoid Hell but because it’s what I know in my heart is the right thing to do. I believe that there are as many ways/names for God as there are leaves on the trees. I believe that not until love and tolerance is the reigning philosophy will we have peace on Earth.
How do we know where we shall go
From up above or down below
Who will show us the road to take?
Our inner self
Or people we face?
I for one will determine my fate
To Heaven's doors
Or to Hell's gate.
I attended a wonderful church for about a year and half. I really enjoyed the community I felt there. The lesson that applied to how to live a better life where great. But there was a huge problem I don't believe that the bible is the word of God. I think it has many truths, but in the end I think its stories, parables to teach. By the way I don’t think that is a bad thing. You can learn much from reading the bible regardless of your faith. I also can't believe that there is only one way to God/higher power. That really is the basic belief in Christianity that their way is the only true way. The world is a wonderfully diverse place with millions of different people, cultures, and ways of thinking. How can religion be one size fits all?
This all started when a friend (hopefully she still is) stated on facebooks that she believes in saying Merry Christmas. Really what does this mean? If she would have stated I wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas then that is one thing. I would have wished her a very Merry Christmas and that would have been that. But did she mean that by stating it that way? This is what she said.
"No it means that I am not afraid to say Merry Christmas - I wish Happy Holidays to those who don't celebrate but I won't be made to be politically correct by not saying Merry Christmas -"
"I say Merry Christmas to everyone unless I know they don't celebrate"
My question is how do you know what someone celebrates? I mean obviously you know what your friends and family celebrate but what about your neighbors or your bank teller? What does Happy Holiday have to do with being politically correct? I think it would just be polite to say Happy Holiday's. Since Christmas isn't the only holiday celebrated in December. And what is this garbage: This lady told me she was sad that I didn't know Christ and would pray for me. Really save your time and energy. Once again that is your faith not mine. Now if you want to pray for happiness, prosperity, joy for my family go for it.
You might be asking if I celebrate Christmas. I celebrate the company of family, friends, the giving of gifts, eat way to much, decorating the house, but no we don't celebrate Christ’s birthday. Do I believe in God? I believe in something more then us, what that is I don't know. Do I believe in the power of prayer? Yes, I think that where ever we put our energy things will manifest (really who doesn't need some extra good energy in their life). Is that the doing of a higher power, I have no idea. I believe in reincarnation, I believe in miracles, I believe in the union of two souls in marriage. I believe in the good of humanity, I believe in being a good person not so I can celebrate in Heaven or avoid Hell but because it’s what I know in my heart is the right thing to do. I believe that there are as many ways/names for God as there are leaves on the trees. I believe that not until love and tolerance is the reigning philosophy will we have peace on Earth.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Nov 14th
This week I lost 3.4 pounds, which I think is a good start. Of course I won't be really counting the weight loss until I get down past 220. I hate regaining weight. The second time around losing it isn't nearly as fun as the first. The whole time I'm just beating myself up for gaining it in the first place instead of being happy that it is coming back off.
It would have been more but I have no willpower over the weekend. Talon had his birthday so of course had to eat out when I went looking for his present with hubby. Then Friday night I had a gyro's, french fries, birthday cake and baklava. Didn't do much better on Saturday when we ate at Home Spun. I spun me some country fried steak, white gravy, mash potato's and fried apples. So I guess 3.4 pounds is kind of like a miracle :)
We are finally heading back to the gym. Did spin tonight and it kicked my booty as always. Garry's ankle still isn't doing so hot but he is determine to workout. They have added a new spin class on Thursday nights. Might have to hit that this week. I love how fast spin class goes. Might be the fact that I'm so dazed and oxygen deprived I have no idea whats going on...muhaha.
So I'm back to the basic. Counting calories, trying to eat every couple of hours, getting in more veggies and fruits, lean protein, laying off anything white or processed. Except my coffee. Gotta have creamer... I'm mean really if I get hit by a bus tomorrow I want to have some joy in my life :)
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Crazy life
I have a crazy life... how doesn't. Just an easy excuse to bad eating and no excersize. If I'm waiting for the prefect time to lose weight then I will be fat forever! Which I am... So I need to work on creating an environment that might not be perfect but is doable. My weight was bouncing around in the 220's for a longtime I should have been happier because now I'm in the 240's. I can't even say i'm suprise. When I start avoiding the scale I start gaining weight. Which is really bad since now I really only have one pair of Jeans that fit and they are full of holes...lol. I'm calling in fat... sorry I have nothing to wear!
This Friday is grocery week. This week I'm going to but together a meal plan. I will most likely eat the same thing for breakfast, lunch, and snacks. Dinner will vary that seems to workout the best for me. I am going to eat at least one fruit or veggie at each time I eat and try to get in 6 meals a day. That works really well for me but its so hard to do. Actually I take it back I'm going to get start tomorrow. I have plenty of food in this house that I can eat. Lots of apples, some can fruit. Several packs of chicken. I can figure somethings out a made make a run for the few things I don't have. I can't keep putting this off.
I'm going on a cruise for my 20th anniversary November 2012. I guess I should say second honeymoon. Well in our case first honeymoon. I don't think the one night stay at hotel 8 constitutes a honeymoon :) Anyway.... How nice would be to actually want to be in the pictures. Maybe even wear a sexy dress and rumba with my hubby. So much fun. Something to aim for!
So it begins...........
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