Monday morning reality check

Its so hard....

2012-01-10T06:20:00.001-08:00

Did awesome last week and lost 4 pounds! The weekends are still very hard for me. We had a birthday dinner which include brownies and chocolate brownies...yummy. Plus had a bed picnic with the hubby. Need to make sure I only do that about once a month is that. Worked out 5 days last week. I'm hoping to get in at least 4 maybe 5 this week.
Really busy week have something going on almost everyday so it can be tricky. I feel really guilty taking the time to do it during the day, when we can't go at night. I know my kids are getting enough time with me so but its just one of those things to deal with. I have to remind myself that life is a balance it can't all be about me or about the kids. Trying to find that balance is hard, the squeaky wheel get the attention.
I'm going to do jam in about 30 minutes. Haven't done that class in a long time, should be really fun. Trying to get in 3 hardcore cardio a week along with two days of weights. Feeling pretty good. Not to sore but can feel my muscles working.

The journey begins.....

2011-12-21T06:45:00.000-08:00

It’s funny how everything works. I have been feeling a bit lost lately, a wrong turn here, a misstep there, not trusting my heart. Where do I belong in this world? When you are constantly bombarded with one message over and over again, you start to wonder maybe that message is right...maybe I’m wrong, maybe my heart doesn't know. Then something wonderful happens, you catch a tiny glimpse, a twinkle on the horizon, you come up for air, gulp in sweet breathe, your eyes open and you can clearly see the path, your path. It will be rocky, it will be steep, treacherous at times but you are more than willing to make the climb.
Last night I was telling my hubby that I’m ecstatic I can believe in a God that isn’t a Christian one. I want to make this clear. I have no problem with Christians and their beliefs. I am joyful that they have found their path to God; it’s just not my path. It’s hard to explain, I wish that I could eloquently write how I feel, but atlas I’m stuck with me… I have been told for so long that God – the Christian God- (read this as the only true God) can only be known one way. That all other ways are wrong, deceiving, and even sinful. I was so confused inside – I felt something more than me, something that loved me, guided me, cherished me exactly how I am, but I also knew deep down in my being that it wasn’t the Christian view of God. So how can this be? Is it really something that is sinful, evil that I felt?
We went to a wonderful Holiday Party. There were people from all walks of life, different views, religion, culture, and ethnicity. My heart sighed. So many different people, yet here we are enjoy each other company, rejoicing in our differences, in fact our differences is what made the party so wonderful.
I had been reading about Hinduism for about 6 months or so. But as it happens so often in our lives, things became busy. I was helping with Boy Scouts, homeschooling my kids, running the kids around to different classes, sporting event, you name it. Hinduism got lost in the shuffle. Then this party reminded me that there is so much more out there then I can see and explore.
I have reopened the books. The journey begins……

A poem

2011-12-19T10:27:00.000-08:00

I wrote this poem when I was about 16 years old. This time of year always gets me thinking about Religion.

How do we know where we shall go
From up above or down below

Who will show us the road to take?
Our inner self
Or people we face?

I for one will determine my fate
To Heaven's doors
Or to Hell's gate.

I attended a wonderful church for about a year and half. I really enjoyed the community I felt there. The lesson that applied to how to live a better life where great. But there was a huge problem I don't believe that the bible is the word of God. I think it has many truths, but in the end I think its stories, parables to teach. By the way I don’t think that is a bad thing. You can learn much from reading the bible regardless of your faith. I also can't believe that there is only one way to God/higher power. That really is the basic belief in Christianity that their way is the only true way. The world is a wonderfully diverse place with millions of different people, cultures, and ways of thinking. How can religion be one size fits all?
This all started when a friend (hopefully she still is) stated on facebooks that she believes in saying Merry Christmas. Really what does this mean? If she would have stated I wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas then that is one thing. I would have wished her a very Merry Christmas and that would have been that. But did she mean that by stating it that way? This is what she said.
"No it means that I am not afraid to say Merry Christmas - I wish Happy Holidays to those who don't celebrate but I won't be made to be politically correct by not saying Merry Christmas -"
"I say Merry Christmas to everyone unless I know they don't celebrate"

My question is how do you know what someone celebrates? I mean obviously you know what your friends and family celebrate but what about your neighbors or your bank teller? What does Happy Holiday have to do with being politically correct? I think it would just be polite to say Happy Holiday's. Since Christmas isn't the only holiday celebrated in December. And what is this garbage: This lady told me she was sad that I didn't know Christ and would pray for me. Really save your time and energy. Once again that is your faith not mine. Now if you want to pray for happiness, prosperity, joy for my family go for it.
You might be asking if I celebrate Christmas. I celebrate the company of family, friends, the giving of gifts, eat way to much, decorating the house, but no we don't celebrate Christ’s birthday. Do I believe in God? I believe in something more then us, what that is I don't know. Do I believe in the power of prayer? Yes, I think that where ever we put our energy things will manifest (really who doesn't need some extra good energy in their life). Is that the doing of a higher power, I have no idea. I believe in reincarnation, I believe in miracles, I believe in the union of two souls in marriage. I believe in the good of humanity, I believe in being a good person not so I can celebrate in Heaven or avoid Hell but because it’s what I know in my heart is the right thing to do. I believe that there are as many ways/names for God as there are leaves on the trees. I believe that not until love and tolerance is the reigning philosophy will we have peace on Earth.

Nov 14th

2011-11-14T18:22:00.000-08:00

This week I lost 3.4 pounds, which I think is a good start. Of course I won't be really counting the weight loss until I get down past 220. I hate regaining weight. The second time around losing it isn't nearly as fun as the first. The whole time I'm just beating myself up for gaining it in the first place instead of being happy that it is coming back off.

It would have been more but I have no willpower over the weekend. Talon had his birthday so of course had to eat out when I went looking for his present with hubby. Then Friday night I had a gyro's, french fries, birthday cake and baklava. Didn't do much better on Saturday when we ate at Home Spun. I spun me some country fried steak, white gravy, mash potato's and fried apples. So I guess 3.4 pounds is kind of like a miracle :)

We are finally heading back to the gym. Did spin tonight and it kicked my booty as always. Garry's ankle still isn't doing so hot but he is determine to workout. They have added a new spin class on Thursday nights. Might have to hit that this week. I love how fast spin class goes. Might be the fact that I'm so dazed and oxygen deprived I have no idea whats going on...muhaha.

So I'm back to the basic. Counting calories, trying to eat every couple of hours, getting in more veggies and fruits, lean protein, laying off anything white or processed. Except my coffee. Gotta have creamer... I'm mean really if I get hit by a bus tomorrow I want to have some joy in my life :)

Crazy life

2011-11-06T18:16:00.000-08:00

I have a crazy life... how doesn't. Just an easy excuse to bad eating and no excersize. If I'm waiting for the prefect time to lose weight then I will be fat forever! Which I am... So I need to work on creating an environment that might not be perfect but is doable. My weight was bouncing around in the 220's for a longtime I should have been happier because now I'm in the 240's. I can't even say i'm suprise. When I start avoiding the scale I start gaining weight. Which is really bad since now I really only have one pair of Jeans that fit and they are full of holes...lol. I'm calling in fat... sorry I have nothing to wear!

This Friday is grocery week. This week I'm going to but together a meal plan. I will most likely eat the same thing for breakfast, lunch, and snacks. Dinner will vary that seems to workout the best for me. I am going to eat at least one fruit or veggie at each time I eat and try to get in 6 meals a day. That works really well for me but its so hard to do. Actually I take it back I'm going to get start tomorrow. I have plenty of food in this house that I can eat. Lots of apples, some can fruit. Several packs of chicken. I can figure somethings out a made make a run for the few things I don't have. I can't keep putting this off.

I'm going on a cruise for my 20th anniversary November 2012. I guess I should say second honeymoon. Well in our case first honeymoon. I don't think the one night stay at hotel 8 constitutes a honeymoon :) Anyway.... How nice would be to actually want to be in the pictures. Maybe even wear a sexy dress and rumba with my hubby. So much fun. Something to aim for!

So it begins...........

again, again, again

2011-05-20T09:36:00.000-07:00

Good news I have lost 44 pounds since January of 2010. Bad new I have been going up and down since September 2010. My weight goes up 227 then down to 221. Its crazy and frustrating and totally my fault...lol. Working out I like but I do need to step it up. I'm only doing 3 days a week which isn't enough I know. I need more Cardio. Right now I'm fighting with my back, but I'm determined to keep working out and modifying my workouts so I don't lose more ground. Since my legs are sore today I think what I did yesterday must of worked. Lots of reps, low weights, and throw in some Cardio. I know this summer I need to get in at least 5 workout a week. The biggest thing is that I hate making my boys go to daycare. Good news is that they seemed to have made some friends, so that helps. We go three times a week at night, but I think the off days I need to go also.

Watching Biggest Loser always inspires me. So I have taken a motivation tip from Jay writing my goal on my arm. Every time I reach for food, candy, treats or when I'm working out sweating and don't think I can do another rep its going to be right there staring me in the face.

I also need to write about my journey. It helps me stay focused, determined, and it reminds me of what I want.

Picking up speed

2011-02-11T06:44:00.000-08:00

Started a new eating plan, it will be 2 weeks on this coming Monday. Finally got to weigh in today and I have lost 6.6 pounds!!! Can't tell you how happy I am. So far I have lost 47.6 pounds on my weight loss journey that start Feb 2009. I feel so much stronger and happier now. I still have a long ways to go before I hit my goal but I'm finally moving along.

Diet is key. I was lucky enough to be able to go to Better Day Nutrition. They are located right next to our gym. I thought I was eating the way that I should, but my weight wasn't moving. So Derek put me on a high protein, low carbs, low sodium diet. I can't tell you how much better I feel. I have so much energy and my moods are much better. Working out definitely has a place in a healthy life style but nutrition is key. Really how can you expect your body to perform if all you feed it is crap!

We have tweaked our workout and they are kick butt! The circuit training combined with running between is really burn a bunch of calories. The stair master is hard but I can burn 100 calories in 10 minutes. Gotta love that. I'm struggling some in my RPM class, I would like to burn more calories. But Michelle the instructor is awesome and has giving me some pointers. Can't wait to try them out on Monday.

This week BodyPlex is having a new class Shabam! Looking forward to trying it out, should be tons of fun. Need to get my 600 calorie burn. I might start adding in a Sunday run. That would put me at 5 days a week. Biggest thing is I don't want the kids to always have to hangout at the gym. At least when I run they can ride their bikes with me. Gets me thinner and them healthier that's always a good thing.

Going to San Fransisco at the end of the month. A little nervous about how my eating is going to be there. I know we will be walking a lot so that should help. Need to look to see if the hotel has a gym. I think I'll pack my workout clothes just in case. I'm going to try to stay on plan for the majority of time, but I'm sure there will be a meal or two that isn't. I need to think, lean protein, fruits and veggies. Going to stay away from bread and limit my desserts to just one. So it better be good!

Crazy week

2011-01-14T04:33:00.000-08:00

What a crazy week. I was doing awesome on the challenge. Then PMS combined with cold weather hit me hard. Don't know if my body was planning on hibernating or what but I first lost 2 pounds, gained that back plus an extra 2. Finally got a workout in, ended the week where I started it at 227. Could be worse. I could have ended up gaining. Looking over my food journal. I had 5 day that were spot on, 1 day that was bad, and one day that was over the top bad and I didn't even track it. Soooo I guess I need to do better. I still think I need one cheat day. Maybe only one meal instead of the whole day...lol.

My hubby is out of town. I already miss him and the airplane hasn't even taking off yet. I'm hoping to stay super busy so the time goes by faster. Need to make sure that the house is stocked with good food so I don't eat to comfort myself. I think my goal should be to lose enough weight that he will notice a difference when he comes back. Yeah that will be a good motivator.

Deciding if I should hit the gym today. I might checkout what classes they have today. Thats always fun. Since I haven't been all week it will do us good to get out of the house. Going to do that now.

8-week Challenge

2011-01-07T06:33:00.000-08:00

Starting the 8 week challenge with some friends. Very excited. My goal is to lose 20 pounds. So that 2.5 pounds a week. I'm pretty confident that if I stick to my eating plan and workout plan it should be in the bag. Actually I'm hoping to lose more then that, but I don't want to jinx myself :) The challenge is this. We have a 4 & 8 week goal. Then we break that down to weekly goals. If you hit it YEAH! If not you have to give 5 dollars to charity. If you hit your 4 week goal then we are going to celebrate with a pedicure. If you make your 8 week goal we will celebrate again with another pedicure. If you don't then you donate another 20 dollars to charity. At the end we are going to do a Charity Walk. Not sure which one yet. Should be fun. Plus the added bonus of friends motivating you and celebrating your successes.

I actually started last week and lost 5.6 pounds this week. I'm very happy about but it is stupid weight that I gained over the holidays. I still need to lose another 7 pounds before I'm back to my lowest weight. I getting back into the groove of eating healthier again. Thanksgiving through Christmas was rough. I was eating all kinds of crap, my body and mind really were taking hit. I can already feel the difference of having good food in my system and working out.

I should have good numbers next week. I only got in two workouts with this week weigh-in. Our new schedule is Monday/spin, Tuesday/off, Wed/front half weights, Thur/ Back half weights, Fri/off, Sat/Zumba and Sunday off. I think this makes a really good rounded program. The weight training is in circuits so I still get a good cardio workout. I really aim for at least 500 calories per workout.

April we are heading to Florida and the beach. I'm really looking forward to it. I want to be able to wear a bathing suit without being totally self conscious about it. I like the one I have now, but it would be nice to get a new smaller size one :) Maybe I should order it as a reminder of what I want to do!!

Feeling good

2011-01-03T19:03:00.001-08:00

Finally had a chance to hit the gym today. Did a spin class. It was awesome burned 535 calories... go me! Between having my tooth pulled, Garry being sick then me and the boys being sick. It feels so nice just to feel good. You forget. Ok all i'm going to write because i'm super tired and want to go snuggle down in bed!

Beach

2011-01-01T09:30:00.000-08:00

The word that installs fear into women...lol. I have three month until we are spending spring break in Naples, Fl. I'm so excited to hangout at the beach. At my current size i'm really still fine... well lying down with a beach blanket covering me! So with that being said. I have been off my weight loss program since the summer. Its time to recommit, hit the gym, eat health and be fit. I'm really excited about going snorkeling with the family. The though of a huge white moon beaming up at everyone is enough to get me off my butt! This is going to be a great year.

I just discovered a new magazine. Its call Clean Eating. It has faboulous low cal recipes. I'm excited to try some of them. Plus great tips on eating healthier with less process foods, closer to nature. I'm not a huge lets eat organic, but it has great tips on eating with the season. What veggies and fruits are in their prime now and recipes to use them to the fullest. I'm also going to get their fitness magizine called Oxygen. Love the name. Hope the magazine is as good.

So cheers to a new healthier, fitter 2011!

Working out

2010-12-08T17:38:00.000-08:00

Hey to my 3 readers...lol Being awhile. Our family has a new gym membership. Its really awesome because I get to workout with my hubby and daughter. It fun that Kelsie is now old enough to workout with us. I really can't wait until the boys will be. Talon is already lifting weights at home... its really cute. My eating has been doing pretty good. Considering its the holiday season not doing bad. This week has been better plus I'm kicking butt at the gym. I'm down to weighing once a week. My weight is going crazy and its really is discouraging to see the scale going up when you have been working so hard. I know that it is only my body adjusting to lifting weights and in a bit i'm hoping the weight will really start to come off. I figure I need to lose another 50 pounds and I will be prefect!! It higher then most i'm sure but it will be a weight that I think I will look good at and I can maintain. I will weigh in on Friday morning. I'm hoping for a good loss but it might be the same or even a gain. I'm not going to freakout. I'm just going to keep doing what i'm doing. I feel great. I think this going to be a great month!

Nope not going to say that....

2010-10-24T12:04:00.000-07:00

Good week this week. I lost 4.4 pounds! Still not back down to what I was in June, but I'm closing the gap. Since the end of January last year I have lost a total of 42.2 pounds. I'm pretty proud of that. Recently I read over all my post. Its really nice to be sitting here knowing that I have put in the effort and it paid off. This New Years I know I'm NOT going to be say this is the year I'm going to lose weight. I can say this is the year I will get leaner, stronger, and healthier. That is powerful!!!

I love fall, the leaves are changing color, the air is cool, and the mosquito's are DEAD! LOL Its weird I would think that fall time would be hard to lose weight with all the temptation of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. But I'm getting better at changing up recipes like meatloaf so that I can enjoy them without feeling guilty. I made a great meatloaf with half ground turkey and half hamburger. It was really good. I think the hardest part is not falling back into old routines.

I want to start the New Years under two hundred pounds. I'm 23 pounds away from that right now, so its going to be hard. I'm going to take it one day at a time. Each day putting my best foot forward. So I guess that is my new goal. 199 by Jan 1, 2011. Wow just looking at the number is a little frightening. Its been a very very very longtime since I have seen it.

OK so I need to back track a bit. There are 10 weeks left in this year. So I need to lose 2.3 pounds per week. That is what I'm going to think about this week. 2.3 pounds, 2.3 pounds, 2.3 pounds... that I CAN do.

Fall

2010-10-14T18:29:00.000-07:00

--noun
the season of the year that comes after summer and before winter; autumn

—Verb phrases
to lag, in pace or progress:

Perfect definition to describe my time and place. This summer saw a gradual slowing of my progress. My weight bounced as I have stated in numerous blogs. What I call stupid weight. But unfortunately at some point the stupid weight became real weight that one day of eating well couldn't fix. This morning I was up 5 pounds from my low of 219.8. Which is actually 4 pound down from where I was on Sunday morning.

I'm back to tracking. Which as I see over the months is truly the only way for me to lose weight. Ever little tasty morsel needs to be examined, tested, and written down for me to lose weight. Which is just how it is.

I would really like to finish off 2010, by leaving my 200 behind me. What a accomplishment that would be. I would be very very happy, really it would be one of the best Christmas presents yet. I wonder if I should just think of it as Christmas present to me. Here Annie with love from me. Your health, and a smaller butt! Really who could top that :) How does one wrap that...muhaha! Don't ask my hubby he would say just with a big red ribbon bow....

Feeling the need to blog again. I love the fall its my favorite time of year. Also it the time of year with lots of yummy comfort foods, birthdays, anniversary, Holidays. But one day can not a fat butt make. So it will be my resolve that on all the days holidays do not fall on to eat healthy. Days that are holidays, rejoice with my family, enjoy the food, and know that life is a balance. Each day brings it own goodness that should be savoried.

Yahooooooo

2010-07-15T05:41:00.000-07:00

So excited, just broke the 220. Granted I weigh 219.8 but i'm under 220. Can't even remember when I have weighed under 220. Must have been in college. I think I might try my dresses on from Old navy. Haven't tried them on for a while...... giddy with excitment!

back in the saddle....again, again and yet again

2010-07-12T05:49:00.000-07:00

Wow I thought it was easy to lose weight in the summertime. All those fresh fruits and veggies. Well apparently that doesn't apply to me:) The last two month my weight has been bouncing. I keep thinking I have it under control, then another holiday, birthday, baby shower, or nothing comes up and there I go. I must say I have stayed within 10 pounds or so. Right now I'm back down, but I still think I'm up a pound since my lowest weight.

I have been jogging. This has changed my body but not really my weight. It has also made me hungrier, so I have been dealing with that. I have really enjoyed running again (well other then my hips killing me) What can I say, I really like to sweat and the runners high isn't bad either. It been really awesome going running with the family. The boys both have bikes now, so they ride. Garry, Kelsie and I run. Its a family thing... I love that.

Ok gulp...Last week I was up to 227.8, now I'm back down to 222.2. So I lost 5 pounds this week sort of. Basically I lost the 5 pounds I gain so that really doesn't count. My lowest was 221.8 in the middle of June. Ok now I'm mad. I have gained .4 in the last month....ugh!!!!!

Well even with that being said I have lost 35.8 pounds and 5 inches off my waist. My legs and tushy have also slimmed down. Pants are fitting much better. That does make me feel better.

I'm thinking I need to go back to one day at a time. I'm not going to look ahead of what I might loss this week,month or year. I'm going to concentrate on eating well today, moving my body, and enjoying life. Tomorrow will be here soon enough.

Ah Ha Moment: Excercise

2010-06-21T17:41:00.000-07:00

noun
1. bodily or mental exertion
2. a putting into action, use, operation, or effect

I finally feel like I need to put exercises in its proper place. Now I'm just taking about myself, I can't compare, note, or otherwise determine how exercise effects other. I have always thought of exercise as a means to control my weight. You might ask "how is that working for ya" This is the thinking... ok so I have a huge brownie with ice cream and whip cream on top. I deserve it, I worked out today. What does that even mean!!!!!! I deserve it!! I deserve to fill my body with CRAP! I work hard at the gym so that my body can starve itself on high calorie, high fat, nutritionally void food. Exercise is not the key, its more like the lock. With out eating right (the key) its useless in helping me lose weight.

Now before anyone think no I've lost all this weight walking, jog, weight lifting... whatever. I'm just talking about my little bubble. I was looking over the last couple of month. I have been losing weight for 4 1/2 month. Or really I should say I lost weight for the first 3 month and have been losing and gaining the same 5 pounds for the last month and a half. Sparkspeople is awesome. They have a calendar summary it show your calories, if you met all nutritional needs that day, did you exercise, and weight. So I was looking over the summary. The first 3 month I only missed one or two days of tracking my food. I didn't exercise at all and this is when I lost the most weight.

I notice that when I started working out again, my hunger level went way up and I stopped tracking my food because.....yup you guess it I was over eating. Now I do have some strategy that work to curb the hunger, but what about the mental part. I was still in that frame of mind of I deserve this brownie, cheeseburger, fried....you fill in the blank. What I really deserve is great tasting food, that is great for me! Why is it that I keep thinking that the food I have been eating veggies, fruit, lean meat, isn't normal and that greasy, nastiness is regular food. What kind of crazy twisted logic is that.

So does exercise have a place in my bubble. OH YEAH! I love to jog, not really in the moment...well sometimes. But I like how it makes me feel. I like looking at my thighs and having some muscle tone. I like being able to get off the floor with a spring, not having to have two people heft me up. I actually like to sweat and that feeling of accomplishment after I'm done.

So here is the point. I'm rethinking how I think of exercise. No longer is it my excuse to overeat, or indulge because I worked out. Exercise if soley to make my body feel better. So I vote for definition 2: a putting into action, use, operation, or effect.

Back in the Saddle again

2010-05-24T05:22:00.000-07:00

Well I'm back in the groove again. I had a couple of high stress weeks, and gain a couple of pounds. Stress is my enemy right behind sugar..lol But I'm down again. Last week I lost 3.8 pounds and this week I lost 3.5 pounds....YEAH For a total of 35.8 pounds since the end of January. So excited. I'm two pounds away from being in my teens. As in 219. I haven't been in my teens since college 11 years ago. Very exciting. I'm hoping to reach my goal of breaking 200 by the end of summer. I've been setting 10 pounds goals, but this is one of the biggies. I think I'm need a tattoo or nose piercing to celebrate it...hmmmm.

I have also decided to run a 5K. Run being an optional word..lol. I have started to train for it. This give me more motivation to workout. So far so good. I'm not killing myself which I like and it doesn't seem to be affecting my hunger level yet. Which is what I was really worried about to begin with. That was my downfall last time I think. I was working out so hard that I was starving all the time. So my eating sucked, I was eating the wrong food and way to much of it. This time I got my diet under control first. Portion size and what I was eating were huge things for me. I use to think ok I can eat this brownie as long as I stay in my calorie zone. Which on paper looks fine and if I was able to do it that would be fine. I have found out that eating sugar is just a no no for me. The first serving isn't the problem. I can eat a small brownie, but then an hour later i'm starving and what do I want... MORE sugar. Its a endless cycle, I eat sugar then I want more sugar, the only way not to get caught in it, is not to start at all. Now I do have plenty of things with Splenda. It doesn't effect me the same way. I can have splenda in my coffee or yogurt/ice cream with splenda and be fine. So its nice to know there are alternative out there. Also I have noticed my taste buds have been changing. Things that are naturally sweet taste more sweet to me now. Like tomato's. I never would call them sweet before but now I can taste the sweetness of them.

I have found a new protein water mix that I love. Its Special K2O protein water mix by Kelloggs. I have tired the strawberry kiwi and iced tea. Its yummy. Only 30 calories, no fat and it has 5 grams of fiber and 5 grams of protein. Its freaking awesome. Ups my fiber and protein and it fills me up. I have it in the afternoon to get me going. So much better then coffee.

This week stats: Lost 3.5 pounds for a total of 35.8 pounds and 5 inches of my waist. My waist is still not moving much but I can tell I'm losing it of my backside and legs. I'm also starting to work my arms daily. Want to get rid of the extra wave under my arm :)

Spring

2010-04-25T06:45:00.000-07:00

–verb (used without object)

1.to be released from a constrained position, as by resilient or elastic force or from the action of a spring:

2.to come into being, rise, or arise within a short time

To be released from a constrained position. Wow! That explains it perfectly. Even though I'm not quite a third of the way to my final goal. I feel freer, lighter, a spring in my step. My progress has been pretty consistent and I'm very proud of what I have accomplished so far.

This week was a more relaxed week, I didn't count calories for the majority of the week. I wanted to see what would happen if I just used what I have learned so far and watch what I was eating. So I did this until Friday and I'm happy to say that I didn't gain weight but I didn't lose weight either. So on Friday I started back with counting. Right now I'm eating between 1200 and 1500 calories, I try to vary it daily. I'm still sticking with eating the same thing for breakfast, and for lunch I normally choose between a couple of choices. Dinner is different everyday. This has really help me track my calories and also I just don't really think about those meals. I know if I'm hungry I can choose between a couple of snacks that I already know the calories count. Its makes it so much simpler. I'm hoping that when I reach my goal I can eat a little more and still maintain my weight loss. I guess that remains to be seen :0

So this week I have lost a little over a pound. So I have lost a total of 30.4 pounds since the end of January! I have reached my 3rd goal. I have been setting 10 pound goals for myself. My next goal is 217. I'm very excited about reaching this one. I haven't weighed that since college, 10 years ago. It seems that I have been losing about 10 pounds a month, which I guess is a good amount. Its very tempting to try to figure out when I will be at my final goal but I'm resisting. I don't want to set myself up for failure. 10 pounds at a time is working really well for me right now.

Exercising: What can I say, this time I'm not really thinking about it. I would like to start walking everyday not so much to lose weight but that its a really healthy thing to do. I was laughing and asking my hubby if I can call, my Sunday workout, my last chance workout if its the only workout of the week? hehe.
We have a new park, Garry Prickle. It has a nice 1/2 mile loop. Yesterday I walked 3 miles and ran for about 3/4 of a mile. My legs are hating me today. I've might have over done it, but it felt really good at the time. I say I would like to walk everyday but I think that's not very realistic. I think I'm going to shot for at least twice. I know that sounds lame, but since I'm only working out on Sunday it is a step in the right direction.

prep·a·ra·tion

2010-04-04T18:41:00.000-07:00

noun
1.a proceeding, measure, or provision by which one prepares for something: preparations for a journey.
2.any proceeding, experience, or the like considered as a mode of preparing for the future.
3.an act of preparing.
4.the state of being prepared

Well it Sunday night and tomorrow is Monday morning reality check. I need it this week. I have done really good all week. On Friday I was down four pounds...but this is the reality, if I don't watch, track, plan, my eating then I'm not going to have the results I want. I did plan the Easter meal, which was great. We had the dinner on Saturday and I planned it all out. It was healthy low-fat and delicious, but the problem was that it was only that one meal. Did I plan breakfast no, dinner no, what I was going to eat on Sunday (We did Easter dinner on Saturday) no!!! I also haven't gone shopping at all for this coming week.

There is no such thing as willpower only preparation will keep you on track. I know this. I can see over time that the weeks when I take the time on Friday to plan the following week, shop for the food, then prepare ahead of time snacks and lunches my weight loss is much better. I feel better, I'm not hungry and I don't think about what I'm going to eat, because it is already planned. Well, there you go.

OK, so I guess I need to get the tushie moving and plan what I'm eating next week. Will update tomorrow and let you all know where I'm at. Until then....

This week stats: Lost 2 pounds for a total of 25 pounds. My waist still isn't moving.

I guess I should be happy with a 2 pound loss but I know where I was on Friday. So really I had a 4 pound loss and gained back 2 of it over the weekend. Which makes me MAD!!!! These weekends are killing me. I need to plan the weekend better. I planned out next week but stopped on Friday. The weekends are where I really need it. The problem with the weekends is they get busy and I can't eat every couple of hours. So I then I'm starving and I don't care what it is, I just want food. I might need to start carrying a little lunch bag in my purse filled with healthy snacks. I try to grab my almonds and raisins but sometimes I forget. Need to get better at this.

First big milestone!

2010-03-22T05:18:00.000-07:00

I have been setting small goals for myself but I finally have reached one of the big milestones. 20 POUNDS!!! I'm one fifth of the way there. I'm so excited. This week was very challenging. Holidays, dates, movies,parties, pizza tours, I tried but wasn't sure if I was going to lose anything. I did make better choice this week. I planned out the holiday dinner, didn't have any pizza at the pizza tour. Tried to find at least a semi healthy dinner at MOG for movie night. Date night what can I say ;) I had chicken, but also rolls and creme brulee for dessert. I mean really ya gotta live sometimes :)

I know that I said I was going to get back on the workout track. I worked out Monday and Tuesday but stopped because I was so hunger. I'm currently trying to find something that will help curb the hunger when I workout. I'm just starving. I think that I will try the biggest loser protein drink. You mix it up with your water, its only 40 calories and has something like 7 grams of fiber and protein. So I'll give it a shot. I'll let you know what I think.

This week looks better easy. Nothing big going on to worry about. I've been reading Jillian's and Bob's books, getting some good tips. I already have read them before, just reviewing the information. Did my numbers, want a two pounds lost again this week. It funny but when you say two pounds it doesn't seem like a lot to me, but it is 7000 calories less then your BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) That's a lot. Basically without working out its not going to be happening. This is the formula for anyone that wants to figure theirs out. 655+ (4.3 x weight in lbs) + (4.7 x heights in inches) - (4.7 X age in years) After you have that number you multiply it by your daily activity level. Mine is light physical activity, normal for a stay at home mom, that number is 1.2

This is how my numbers worked out 655+1023.4+314.9-192.7 = 1800 x 1.2 = 2160 So that is my daily calories I need to stay at my current weight. Now if I want to lose two pounds a week I need to have 1000 calories less a day. So that would be 1160 daily, don't know about you but that is crazy low for me. And you shouldn't go under 1200 anyway. So this is where exercise come in. Whatever you burn during you workout you can add those calories in to up your daily calorie count. Roughly on cardio days my calories are 1490 and on cardio weight day my calories are 1590. But here is another trick. To help with plateau you should vary your caloric intake daily. Just make sure that at the end of 7 days you have a deficit of 7000 calories. So now that I have confused you totally let me show you what my daily intake is.
Monday - 1500
Tuesday - 1435
Wednesday - 1227
Thursday - 1583
Friday - 1474
Saturday - 1400
Sunday - 1400

For a total of 10033 calories for the week. My BMR is 16658 for a deficit of 6625. So if I want to lose a total of two pounds I need to either workout more or eat less. I'll have to go back and play with my numbers a bit more to get that magic -7000 calories. I might need to workout 7 days a week instead of taking Sundays off. We will see how the hunger goes. Anyway that is this week.

Stats for this week. Lost 2.2 pounds for a total of 20.2 pounds. I have lost a total of 4 inches around my waist.

This week stats

2010-03-15T05:52:00.000-07:00

Lost a little over a pound and 1/2 inch around the waist. So that is a total of 18.5 pounds and 2.5 inches around the waist. Going good. I was worried about this week, and I learned a new truth. The two days of REALLY bad eating can overshadow 5 days of good eating. Which I find to be totally unfair! But it made me think this week. Are excessive cheat days worth it. I don't mean the occasional piece of cake or chips and dip. I'm talking about the full on Monty. Let me explain what happen.

It started on Monday night. We decided to get pizza. Instead of thinking ahead and eating one slice then having something reasonable. I have three slices of pizza which ended up being about 1500 calories. On top of the that I had some GS Thin mints and pringles. OK so what was I thinking. If I had just one slice of pizza and then a large salad. I would been great. But instead I ended up eating 2900 calories....WOW. That is almost two full days of food. So instead of losing weight all week I was fighting just to get back were I started on Monday morning.

So finally by Thursday I made it back down a pound so what do I do Thursday night. Have fajitas and chip and dip from On The border. This is just crazy so now the weekend is full of working out hard core and low calories days.

Now here is the truth. I can eat those things I love but in moderation. If I would have had one slice of pizza and salad. If I would have had chicken fajitas and skipped the chips and dip. I would have had a much bigger lost this week. Moderation, moderation, moderation. The only problem is I don't know if I can do moderation. I mean really if I was good at it I wouldn't weigh what I do. It so hard. I'm struggling with should I give up these food until I'm where I need to be? Ok, fellow dieters what have you found to help you? Please leave a comment on what has worked for you. I would love to get any input I can.

Some very positive things have happened this week. I went shopping with my lovely daughter this weekend. She wanted to go to Old Navy. They had the cutest summer dress. So I grabbed my normal size and a size smaller just in case. My normal size was huge!!! Not just big, they swam on me. Then the size smaller fit just right. It was awesome. So then I decided since its going to be a month or two before its nice enough to wear them I decided to buy a size smaller. That put me in a LARGE!!! OMGoodness!!! I haven't worn a large in I can't tell you how long. Now I'm not saying they fit yet. But I can get into them and they are snug, but I'm thinking about 15 pounds and they are going to look FABULOUS!!!!!

I have also started working out again. I don't know if I mentioned it, but I'm scared to death. I like working out, but it puts my hunger level through the roof. I'm hoping that since I have a semi grasp of my eating (other then the cheat days :) I will be OK. So Saturday I did 2 miles with Leslie Simon then I did the weight lifting portion of biggest loser. Sunday I did 3 miles with Leslie. That is mainly why I had a lost at all this week. I'm going to keep up the workout this week and see how it goes. I think I'm also going to chart my hunger. Just track it and be very mindful of what my body is feeling.

So this week is starting. Its all about the planning. I do best on weeks that the I have planned the weeks menu ahead of time. So today I'm going to sit down and plan this weeks food. Its actually getting easier. I pretty much eat the same thing everyday except for dinner. I thought I would get bored with it. But it just makes it some much easier. I don't really have to think about what i'm eating. I know that when I get hungry to grab either edamame, an apple, or raisin and almonds. I'm still eating about every three hours and that seems to working best for right now. Alrighty, been very long winded this week. So off I go.

Hope everyone has a very wonderful week!

"Happy Birthday" quote by Frosty

2010-03-08T06:03:00.000-08:00

Good morning America how are ya? It was a good week. I hate to say I'm getting the hang of this because normally that would derail my efforts. But I'm getting the hang of this! So now I have lost a total of 17.5 pounds since the end of January. Not bad, not bad at all. Brownies and cinnamon rolls are normally my hearts desire, but yesterday I made cinnamon rolls for the family (mostly because they were about to go bad in the fridge) and I really wasn't even tempted to eat them. Not that I have this super willpower. I think I have reach the place that I really want to lost this weight. I have seen the pot of gold and the end of the rainbow.

I don't know if I shared this fact. I haven't told my parents that I'm on a diet. Long story but I want to surprise them when they come up in May. Hopefully they will see a difference :) But I need to prepare myself if they don't notice. Which I guess would be a good test. Since I'm losing weight for myself and my health not anyone else. OK, that not entirely true. I'm losing for my family too, so I'm around for awhile. Gotta help with those grand kids.

My waist is slowly shrinking. I think I have seen the most changes in belly. You know that jiggly wiggly place under the belly button. One word pregnancy, do I need to say anything else?? My clothes are fitting better. I didn't really think I would change size yet, since I pretty much had to squeeze into my clothes. Now they fit with some extra wiggle room. As most women I have clothes in about 4-5 different sizes...lol I'm looking forward to fitting into the pants that I bought a size to small because they were on sale. What kind of thinking is that??? It wouldn't be to bad but I have had them for 2 years.... I think they are still in style...hehe.

Off to a mcdonalds playdate... No worries not eating there :) Have a great week and I'll be seeing less of you next week. So cheesy, but that is me!

Its been awhile

2010-03-01T05:19:00.000-08:00

I haven't blog for awhile, sorry about that. I just wasn't feeling it. This week was really good. I can't believe I lost 5 pounds! So happy, doing happy dance. I can actually see myself eating this way for the rest of my life. I'm sure I'll start to add in some sweet, but really I'm not missing them that much. I think the key for me is eating every couple of hours. Here is a breakdown of my day

8am Coffee, yogurt (either Fiber one yogurt 50c or Yoplus)
10:30 Egg sandwich - one egg, two egg whites, slice of 2% cheddar cheese on a bagel thin.
1:30 Lunch - either soup/salad or veggie burger or chicken roll up
3:30 Raisins and walnuts or almonds
6/6:30 Dinner - Chicken/pork, veggie of some sort and brown rice
9:00 Fruit or if I have enough calories I have kashi with blueberries and milk

So this is basically what I follow and it seems to be working for me. I track everything on my spark pages. My calories are normally from 1400 up to 1600. I do have one cheat night a week. This week it was on Thursday. I made fillet Mignon, corn on the cob and baked potato... it was awesome. But actually it really wasn't a cheat day since I saved calories all day so I could eat it. :)

So we are going into the 5th week. I have never stayed on a diet this long. I guess all the previous times where dress reherals and now its opening night. Its a good thing to, I'm ready to shine!

So far:
This week lost -5 for a total of 16 pounds!
Waist -1 inch for a total of 2 inches around my waist. Pants are fitting a little loser now.

Monday Feb 8, 2010

2010-02-08T06:03:00.000-08:00

Well it was a tough week. I wasn't feeling well at the beginning of the week so I didn't get any exercise last week. The first couple of days I ate really well. Wed, Thur and Friday are another matter. I think Wed was the worst then slowly I came back. I rocked on Sat and Sunday to a 3 pound lost this week. Yeah.

I need to go back and see what my waistloss is. I think its an inch but not sure. This week has started out good. I got up and already did my Walk your belly thin, now I'm enjoying a nice cup of coffee.

The fridge is stock with fibery goodness so eating shouldn't be an issue...lol. I still have a lot of soup leftover. I froze about 10 contains, two different soups, in their serving size so I can just grab and reheat. Makes my life much easier. I'm going to try the Japanese Ginger Salad this week. My friend said that it was really tasty.

Off to eat breakfast.

an⋅tic⋅i⋅pa⋅tion

2010-01-31T16:11:00.000-08:00

–noun
1. the act of anticipating or the state of being anticipated.
2. realization in advance; foretaste.
3. expectation or hope.

This week has gone by so fast, zip, zap, zoom its Sunday night. So, I know that I said I was only going to weigh in once a week. I should rephrase that to, I'm only going to record my weight once a week...hehe. I couldn't stand it, I had to see if it was working.

I felt like I was eating a lot, but way differently then I normally would. I tried out different recipes that I would never have tried before. I had some things I really like and other that nourished my body but not the taste buds. I'm hoping as this goes on my craving for creaming, sugary goodness will fade. I guess I need to change my thinking to; Fruity, fibery, goodness... hmm it does have a nice ring to it.

I was hoping to work out 6 days this week, but I only did 4. On a couple of those days I actually did two workouts so I guess that almost counts at 6. I'm the queen of justifying. So Monday I'm back to my goal of 6 days a week and I'll take it one day at a time.

Tomorrow morning is the first weigh in. I think I did well. I'm also going to be tracking my waistloss, since according to Dr Oz that is the most important thing.

Until tomorrow!!! Is the anticipation killing ya!!! It is me!!!

This week so far....

2010-01-28T05:45:00.000-08:00

The weeks go by fast. Can't believe that it is already Thursday and I have been at this for 4 days...OK 3 days and a morning. So I weighed in this morning and I have lost 5 pounds so far.... yippee!!! The best part is that it hasn't been all that hard. I'm following the real age diet and basically I'm eating all day...lol. I have a pretty big breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, dessert, snack. That's a lot of eating. You can check the diet out at www.realage.com. I have tried lots of different eating plans and this by far is the easiest to stick to for me. I must say for me cause it really isn't a one size fits all thing.

I have also been doing the biggest loser 6 week workout plan. The first 3 weeks you alternate between low-intensity cardio with weight training. The last 3 weeks is high-intensity cardio and more weight training. I'm in my fourth day. So for four days I have gotten straight out of bed and workout. VERY proud of myself. I started out with just my stomach measurement and I will do that one each week. I could measure my whole body but its really my stomach that bothers me the most. Funny isn't it that my big ol' butt doesn't... Anyway I will also post that on Monday mornings.

It hasn't been all fun and games though. Last night I was struggling. I wasn't really hungry but I want something satisfing i.e. sweet, creamy goodness. I tried an apple, that so wasn't cutting it. I grab a handful of walnuts, that helped a little. Dinner was to be a turkey roll and baked potato. So I decide to have the baked potato with butter on it and skip the turkey roll up. This is exactly what I needed. Was it the right way.. Maybe not but it did keep me from going and having a brownie sundae at DQ. So I figure that made it right for me at 7:30pm on Thursday Jan 28th. Best of all I'm totally fine with my decision. I don't feel guilt or like I blew my diet. This might not sound like a big thing. But its huge. Things like that can totally throw my diet off. It starts with well I had some butter and blew it, might as well go full out. Some chips maybe a brownie or two, three, four. You get the idea. And even better yet. After that I sat in my bedroom with Garry and went over some health choices that would satisfy me in those situations.

I always look forward to my cup of coffee in the morning. I was trying to think of a healthy snack that I love. Hard to do :) Anyway a couple of years ago a very dear friend of mine showed me Kashi cereal. I love it! Eureka, Kashi! Its awesome with a bit of yogurt and blueberries. Yummy one of my favorite healthy desserts. So off to the store to find me some Kashi.

happy days

Ven-ture & En-dea-vor

2010-01-24T19:17:00.000-08:00

Ven-ture
-noun
1. an undertaking involving uncertainty as to the outcome

–verb (used without object)
9. to make or embark upon a venture; dare to go:

En-deav-or
–verb (used without object)
1. to exert oneself to do or effect something; make an effort; strive:

I really couldn't decide on which word to go with so we get both. Such strong words. Daring to go or to effect something, make an effort, striving. I wanted to describe how these words make we feel, the the word feel seems to fall short. I think a better word would be conviction. I'm motivated and convicted that this venture, journey, endeavor, is one that I'm ready and able to embark on.

At first when I started this blog I was thinking I would blog only Sunday night or Monday morning to go along with my Monday morning reality check. But I must say I have felt very inspired to write more. To share words that are floating around in my head. So bare with me if I ramble on about unrelated things. Does all this apply to weight loss, no, but I think it all applies to what we go through when we make major life changes.

I'm assuming that this is the first entry that most (if anyone) reads on Monday. This is my Monday morning reality check. Its a way for me to have accountability as I change my eating and workout habits. Its about having a healthier life style, one that will enhance my life. Am I'm hoping it will have weight loss as an added bonus. You betcha!!! Is it what I'm going to be focusing on. No way!

So here it is day 12 (read decision) and I'm ready for an adventure of a life time. I dare you to join me!

Changes

2010-01-24T14:15:00.000-08:00

–verb (used with object)
1. to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone

2. to transform or convert.

This really sums up 2009. Changes. For those that don't know me I started to go to church Christmas of 2008. Which if you do know me its almost laughable. A friend invited my family to a kids program they were having. I was VERY leery of going since I really had nothing to do the church. I would have described my views as agnostic at best and very close to an atheist. I have always believed there is more out there and the whole first spark of life through me for a loop, but I wasn't sure where I stood on the whole "God" issue. Anyway one thing lead to another and I fell in love with my church. I have never experience the love and friendship that I found there. Not only from our awesome pastor and the people but from my very personal relationship with God. I could feel it my heart and the first couple weeks I don't think there was a service that I didn't cry in.

I decided to join a growth group and the real understanding started to begin. I still have a long way to go, there are still many questions and ideas that I wrestle with. I believe I'm like an infant,(anything in the first stage of existence or progress) and as an infant, I can't run until I crawl. I believe that as my understanding grows and my mind opens, the questions and doubts will be washed away. Its been such a joy this year sharing with people and just growing in my love of Christ.

OK so your wondering what does this have to do with weight loss. This last year gives me hope that I'm able to change. That things that I thought just a year ago where foolish and impossible are suddenly possible. That people can change their ideas and what they thought, at the time, where core belief about themselves and the world around them. That this year of embracing a new way of being has shown me a glimpse of what is possible. It's a brand new day. This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

fail-ure

2010-01-21T14:07:00.000-08:00

–noun

1. an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success:

I have been thinking a lot about what failure is, an how I have failed on my MANY attempts to loss weight. Normally, I get all excited do all this planning. I'm going to loss this much weight each week. Calculate if I loss x pounds a week i'll be at goal by summer/birthday/christmas/New Year. So its all about the planning and not so much about the doing. So this time I'm going about it the just the opposite.

Normally I try to eat a wide variety of food, thinking this will help me not get bored: This time I'm limiting what I'm eating so it becomes a non-issue.

Normally I weight every day: I'm going to limit weighting myself to twice a week.

Normally I have weigh in day on Fridays so I can pig out over the weekend: No more, that is why I created Monday morning reality check.

Normally I will go through the calendar and calculate what my weight should be each week, so that when I don't meet that goal it just goes down hill from there: This time I'm not going to set weightloss goals. I'm going to set healthy eating goals and workout goals and I believe if I follow those the weight will follow.

Normally I would say that Monday is the first day of my diet. Its discourage to think this is the first day with many many many many days to follow: I think I'm going to fast forward and this is day 12 with only 12 more days to go. I know this might sound silly for a lot of you, but since the other doesn't work for me, I'm trying something new.

So happy eating,
Annie

de⋅ci⋅sion

2010-01-19T19:19:00.000-08:00

- Noun

2. The act of or need of making up ones mind.
3. Something that is decided, resolution.

I think these two definition fit my situation. I need to make up my mind and make a resolution. So this is what I propose. Started on Jan 25th (because I hate new year resolutions) I will be starting a plan which will include healthier eating and working out. Also this plan includes accountability. Which is going to be in the form of Facebooks and this blog.

Every Monday morning I will have a reality check of the past week, good or bad. I will announce on FB if I have gained or loss and my total (hopefully) weight loss. I'm not going to state my starting weight because that is just a bit to much reality for me. I'm hoping by doing this and knowing that Monday morning is reality check in time, it will give me the motivation to follow through.

Since I have many friends that eat so healthy and exercise regular I'm hoping that they will support and encourage me on this long journey. I will post my goals on my blog and maybe what I have been eating, exercising, feelings and such. I expect no one to follow it, but hopefully just typing out what I have done will keep me going for the next week.

If anyone wants to join me on this journey, that would be awesome.! Feel free to post your +/- on Monday so we can cheer you on or give you support you need to get back on track. If you want to start your own blog I think we can link them (I'm new to blogging but it sounds good)

Anyway that's my decision and I'm sticking to it.

Until Monday, happy eating, sweating, and all else that comes your way.